Loki,
first breath of dawn’s gold glow.
You are my prayer.
Temple of the Flea |
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Narvi and Vali are the sons of Loki and the Asynjur Sigyn. I’m going to write some musings on their relationship, not whether the events that occurred to them were right or wrong. If you aren’t aware of the story, Loki angered many of the Aesir. In revenge they captured Him. After this the Aesir turned Vali into a wolf who in turn killed his brother Narvi. It was Narvi’s intestines that were then used to bind Loki to three rocks to await Ragnarok. Sigyn stays by His side forever protecting Loki from a painful venom dripping from a snake.
Now that you have the basics of the story, let’s turn away from that issue and look at Narvi and Vali’s brotherhood. First, what is brotherhood? It’s the relationship between brothers. It is the relationship between men who consider themselves to be brothers such as in various organizations. Brotherhood is also termed to mean a feeling of closeness in a group that considers themselves to be family. “It snowed last year too: I made a snowman and my brother knocked it down and I knocked my brother down and then we had tea” ~Dylan Thomas We’ve all grown up in families. Even if we didn’t have a brother or brothers we have had friends with brothers. They can be close or distant. In either instance, brothers know each other intimately. They know the minute details of each other’s emotions and reactions. Great joys and pains can be inflicted by one brother on another. The Aesir turned Vali into a wolf. Wolf symbology is varied but there is a large portion of folklore that is directed towards wolves being greedy, ferocious, vengeful, and monstrous. Vali was turned against his brother; I see this as being driven insane. He ripped into Narvi and killed him. Though horrific, there is a poetic sense to this. Who best to rip into another’s very innards than a brother? Who best knows how to truly inflict pain and horror than our own family? We also can’t forget the rest of them. The events between the brothers destroyed the family. The sire, Loki, bound in grief and pain by the murder of one son by the other. Sigyn, wife and mother, forever trying to keep what is left of the family together, trying to protect Loki from the pain. A whole family ripped apart by two brothers. Diehard lorists won’t agree with this paragraph. But let’s think on this a moment anyway. When we look at collective UPG on Narvi and Vali, what is often experienced is two brothers who greatly love each other. Narvi is usually seen as more open and very protective of his brother Vali. Shyness, reluctance to come forward, and a sense of vague horror is seen of Vali. We can only imagine what goes through Vali’s mind reliving the horror of what he committed in his memory. Yet at the same time we can feel a serene joy at the forgiveness Narvi exhibits. He seems protective of his brother, he doesn’t place the blame for his pain on Vali. If anything, Narvi strives to protect Vali from the pain of his actions. This side of the story is often overlooked by those who study the lore. It is a sidelight, the brothers are merely collateral damage. They aren’t. Their story has its own importance. We can see what happens to communities and families when personal, intimate details (the guts) are drug out into the open. We can see what happens when man turns against man, often for no reason other than external events that actually don’t have anything to do with the two. We also forget the prophecy regarding Ragnarok. Before that horrible event, it is said siblings will turn against siblings. Here we have two siblings set against each other in order to gain the bonds which will hold Loki till the day of Ragnarok. The war is set in motion here, sib against sib. We can tell our sons stories of Thor and the value of protecting the weak. We can share stories of Tyr and his tale of honor. But let’s not forget Narvi and Vali. Two children our own offspring can relate to. Two brothers who show the dangers of insensibly turning on each other. Two brothers who can teach of forgiveness. Narvi and Vali can be used as models for our own sons. Heathen children need role models, they need stories to learn from. Here we have, combined between lore and gnosis, a story of two brothers. One becomes enraged, the reason isn’t important and could be applied to anything going on within our child’s life. The enraged Vali then uses the family tie and destroys his brother Narvi. But there is hope. Brothers are brothers, through thick and thin. Narvi goes on to forgive Vali. They never forget what happened, but they can move on, they can be brothers again. This is what brotherhood is about. They knock each other down and then go have tea. My sons know of Narvi and Vali. I hope they can remember them when they experience that crazed anger that only brothers can have for each other. I hope they can remember the damage that can be inflicted at those times and will temper themselves. If they don’t, I pray they remember the forgiveness which is within them. "We are all brothers under the skin- and I, for one, would be willing to skin humanity to prove it." ~ Ayn Rand Remember them. Thorrablót. A relatively unknown feast; one which I’ve been curious about. You see, in my general trovings on the internet and in other areas for information on this event it was clear to me that I wasn’t getting the whole picture. It seems most authors skim over what this feast means. In general, one will find writings such as this, excerpted from the 2012 Troth Almanac, pg. 11 and written by Patricia Layfayllve¹: The Anglo-Saxons termed January Æfter Geola, “after Yule,” which certainly describes the month’s placement in the Northern European calendar. Both the Old Icelandic and the Old Norse named this month Mörsugur (“suet-sucker” or “fat sucker” month) and also divided in two. The first part of January was also called Jól (“Yule”), which might be a remnant of the Yule celebrations having been in January. The latter half of the month was called Þorri, most likely recognizing Þorrablót. In Old High German January was called Harti-mánód, roughly “month of severe frost.” Thorrablót as a tradition has survived into the modern era. Some modern heathens use this festival as a blót to Thor himself. Thorrablót was typically held in Iceland after the thirteenth week of winter, and was a festival featuring a feast followed by songs and games. Given its timing, much of the food traditionally presented at Thorrablót--hakarl (putrified shark), blóðmör ( blood sausage or black pudding), hrútspungr (ram’s scrotum with testicles), and svið (jellied sheep’s head)—were what was left of winter’s stores. Most were pickled or fermented in some way, and were subsistence foods. A traditional heathen may also want to guard against the guests’ breath after such a meal. From what I have found, this is in general true and very good information. It isn’t a past festival however, Thorrablót is still celebrated in Iceland and Norway. It is traditionally held the first Friday after January 19th , this year starting the 20th. The celebration lasts through the first two weeks of February in restaurants and common areas. Traditional fare is served along with special, fresher preparations for the more timid gastronomiques. What caught my eye was the constant swerving around or authorial avoidance of what Thorrablót actually meant. This feast is mentioned in the lore and I’ll go ahead and tell it’s story here from the appendices of the Icelandic Saga, Vol. III by G. Dasent. ² Thorrablót, contrary to popular opinion and usage, is not a blót to Thor. It is a blót to Thorri, otherwise known as King Snow or Thorri Snaerson (Snow-son). Thorri’s lineage is mentioned in this way. There was a man named Fornjot who had three sons. They were Hler, Logi, and Kari. Yes, we are talking the giants Hler of the seas (Aegir), Logi of fire, and Kari who rules over the winds. Kari was the father of Jökull whose name means frost or glacier. Jökull, in turn, sired Thorri. The Orkneyingers’ Saga of the same book adds in one more step- Jökull having sired Snær (Old King Snow) who then sired Thorri. Thorri ruled over Gothland, Kvenland, and Finland. Gothland is the southern portion of Sweden from which the Goths originated. Finland is oft known as the land of trolls and magic. Of interest, Kvenland is thought to have been around the northern edge of the Gulf of Bothnia in the Baltic Sea, directly between Finland and Sweden. Thorri had a daughter Goi (thin-snow) and two sons named Norr and Gorr. Notation is made that Goi was kidnapped and married to a giant named Rolf the Hill. Norr found and invited his sister back home. Rolf followed and became one of Thorri’s men. The appendix notes a holy day that I have to believe is the progenitor of our modern Thorrablót. The translation linked below reads, “To him (Thorri) the Kvens sacrificed that it might be snowy, and that there might be good going on snow-shoon. That was their harvest. That sacrifice was to be at midwinter; and the month Thorri was called after it.” This sacrifice is also noted in the Orkneyingers’ Saga in the same book. ³ The difference here is that this text notes Thorri as making the offering. Now, I’ll admit it is also possible Thorri was a man. I don’t recall seeing it common practice in lore for men to sacrifice to another man but who knows. These are ancient stories handed down and changes over time are natural.. The lineage of Thorri is telling though. With Kari, Logi, and Aeger in his line I’m pointed at the thought Thorri may very well have been a giant. So with this information readily available one can wonder why modern man has either simply called it a feast day without any reference to Thorri or changed it to a blót to Thor. One thought is that the name of Thorri is similar to Thor and let’s face it, Thor is an awesome God. Why not have one more opportunity to honor Him? Let’s look at this more closely though. Thor is important in that He helps keep elemental forces in harmony. However, modern man goes beyond this. We don’t really live in harmony with the elements. We want them under control. We want them vanquished. We want to live in our nice 70 degree all year round air conditioned home without any issues with the snow or sleet or winter, the heat of summer, the mud of spring, or the winds of fall. We have forgotten that without the snows, the storms, the heat, and the winds, we lose our natural cycle. It’s as vital to the life of the Earth as our own heartbeat. We NEED these elements. We can blót to Thor all we want but in His wisdom He just isn’t going to go and destroy every Jotnar around. We need to learn to live and work with the elements again and Thorrablót is a wonderful time to start. Most heathens will admit that the giants (Jotnar) were likely the elemental Gods honored prior to the Aesir or the Vanir. Yet again and again we find it a modern tradition to overlook our forebears practice of honoring the Jotnar. True, there is little record of this practice but I find that plausible- the lore was initially formed through gnosis after the Aesir had already arrived. It makes the highest sense though. Primitive cultures honored the elements they had to deal with. I feel no shame that my forebears honored giants before they honored Aesir or Vanir. Why should any of us? Why deny such a beautiful heritage- that of honoring the seasons, honoring the snow itself if one lives in a region by which it must be dealt with so intimately and personally? Without snow there would be no life; we’ve all heard of global warming. So this season, if you choose to have a Thorrablót you most definitely have choices. You can continue the more modern tradition of honoring Thor- a worthy and wonderful God who will protect and guide us through the roughest of seasons. You can also raise a glass to Thorri Snow-son and ask for safe going on snow-shoon. I see no contradiction there. I’d lay money it’s been a while since anyone offered Thorri a beer- he may take notice and you may just find better winter traction in your driving this winter season. Whatever you do, enjoy your blóðmör and hakarl. Stay warm, safe, and be well. 1.The Troth. The Old Heathen’s Almanac 2012. http://www.thetroth.org. 2. Dasent, G. Appendices. Icelandic Sagas Vol. III. Retrieved from Sacred Texts, January 6, 2012. http://www.sacred-texts.com/neu/ice/is3/is316.htm. 3. Dasent, G. The Orkneyingers’ Saga. Icelandic Sagas Vol. III. Retrieved from Sacred Texts, January 6, 2012. http://www.sacred-texts.com/neu/ice/is3/is302.htm. There are quite a few blogs and websites out there right now about Loki. Most are people, primarily women, describing their own learning process regarding their devotion to Him. Doesn't matter how the blog is described or candy coated- that's what is revealed in the writings. This is wonderful, writing is an absolutely fantastic forum for one to sort through their emotions, index their thoughts, get in touch with their own boundaries and limits. I write. I'm not a prolific blogger- anyone can see that. But I journal daily, about a 1000 pages a year. It's valuable, it's become my book of shadows. Songs the Gods sing to me, techniques, jokes, stories, my thoughts, things I've learnt. All in there in my trusty little hard drive. I do have some critique of the plethora of blogs though. It's not going to win me many friends or points but I think the statements need to be said- primarily to the readers. See, I've had quite a few emails, IMs, and flat out phone calls. People get confused. The deal here is that everyone has a unique experience with a deity. Doesn't matter which one, this really isn't a 'Loki' issue though He is the example here. The questions I get tend to range from, 'But they are describing Him like He's a bar buddy? Is that really how Lokeans feel about their God?' to 'I don't have a relationship like that and want to- what am I doing wrong?' Crap. The former is fairly easy to explain. Loki comes as He comes to people. Some need that joshing friend in a God, others don't. Gods will use what is needed to get through to a person. The latter however, that's where it gets hard. These people are usually struggling with their own issues, struggling with their own devotions, working so hard to develop that connection with their God. Then along comes this site talking about this that and the other thing and bang! The poor dear reader now thinks they are doing something wrong or they are just hurt badly. Some literally become wounded inside and it breaks my heart- hence this post. I'm not going to get into whether people should be putting up their blogs. Everyone has different reasons. Fine and dandy. But what I will say- If reading a blog causes you to doubt your faith and ability to connect with your God then DON'T READ THE BLOG!!! Do I need to repeat that? Yes. DON'T READ THE BLOG IF IT CAUSES YOU PAIN!! Now I know that is hard. It's like watching a feckin' train wreck. You can't take your eyes off, you can't get that blog out of your favorites list. 'Oh my, but what is going to happen next?' But really folks, if what you read there causes suffering and angst, then don't. We CANNOT compare our experiences and relationships with our deities. Sure, we can share stories when we feel inclined, but what I mean here is that we can't internalize another's experience and think that's how it 'should' be. It isn't. We can't compare another's blog to our own living experience when it becomes the detriment of our own spirituality. Now I'm not saying there aren't some high quality blogs out there. There most definitely are. Some share great insights- four off the top of my head include Gangleri's Grove, The Fruit of Pain, House of Vines, and KenazFilan.blogspot.com. There are others- I don't want anyone to be offended if you don't see yourself on the list. Everyone has the ability to have an amazing and unique connection. Amazing and unique because it is what that person needs then. No, not everyone will be able to *see* or *touch* a God. Maybe those that can need the additional stimulus in order to have belief. Maybe it's an accident of birth, different wiring. Doesn't make anyone better or superior. It doesn't. It just is. Every seeker has their own path. It is a beautiful and wonderful path that leads to discoveries each person just has to find on their own. Those personal truths won't be found in another's blog. They are only found when the time and effort is made. Blog trolling isn't really learning and connecting with a God. It's passive entertainment. If it entertains- that's fine. If it substantiates some gnosis you had concerns over, wonderful. If you do find value, great!!! But, if you feel worse and worse and note that after reading the next installment you question yourself even more then just stop. It's an addiction you don't need. Take that time and instead invest it in yourself and your deity. Make that deal- 'instead of reading blogs today I'm going to devote that hour to you, my God. I'm going to light your candle, meditate on who you are, reach out and do my best to feel your grace and presence.' You'll get a lot further in your own connection with your God if you just turn that computer off. Prayer. The word itself is embedded into the US culture via the Christian religion. I've seen resistance to prayer among those who identify as pagan, heathen, or asatru (or any related term) due to the Christian association. I've also seen resistance to contacting the Gods with prayer for reasons such as, ' It's like at work. People don't go to a big boss with problems, they start with their direct supervisors, in this case the ancestors or vaettir' or 'The Gods are busy. I don't want to bother them with small things. I'll only go to them with big issues.'
Among any kind of pagan group (I'm just lumping us all together for brevity) I find the term prayer itself to have gotten a bad rap. People shun the term and the practice because of the Christian ethic around prayer. Pagans want to separate from Christianity and in doing so many have separated from prayer. Now I'm not talking about prayer as in get on your knees with hands together and recite a litany. You can, I have no problems with that and sometimes I do. But prayer is more than just that. There can be simply mindful meditation which becomes prayer. Prayer can be enjoying a meal or drink with diety or it can be conversational- just talking to your God about whatever is happening at the time. Prayer doesn't have to be only about the big issues, it can be day to day life. My experience is that the Gods, at least those I follow, enjoy being made a part of one's life. You don't go to Grandma with only big issues, you also go to her just for meaningless conversation and a cup of tea. It is a giving of time, thought. and love. Prayer is beautiful. This was driven home to me the other night in a way I never expected. Some of my devotional practice includes a simple connection exercise. Just getting closer. It accidentally started for me when I woke one morning to the wondrous sensation of floating in/on Loki, feeling Him around me, cradling me. One has to be incredibly open to feel this, the God is also within you. But, being far bigger than I, the overwhelming sensation is of He around me. So the other night I was working on this connection with Heimdallr. I was floating in this soft, enveloping glow that can be Him when realized there was a ribbon of sound. I gently focused on the sound and heard voices. Several voices, layered on top of each other. Different languages, different rhythms. One voice was male, moderate of tone, and he chanted in a foreign tongue. Another pleading. A high pitched woman talking almost conversationally. Other voices woven together into a ribbon of love. I realized within the instant I was hearing prayers; a ribbon of prayer. I did throw out the query to Heimdallr asking if it was, I felt His affirmative. I pulled away, I had no interest in hearing what people were saying or asking of Him. Not my business. The event was but a few seconds but was a profound experience. The ribbon of prayer, that ribbon of love and trust that drifts through the Gods, was amazing. I say drifts through the Gods because I have to believe that any sincere prayer to any God will get to that God. May not look like a ribbon of adoration to the God in question but it does get there. I can't believe this ribbon of prayer only occurs with Heimdallr. There is a saying that one only finds quality time within a quantity of time. This is true. This is also likely true of prayer. If one never prays, how can a quality prayer built of love, trust, and adoration be built, be exercised? Don't wait for a blot, a sumbel, a circle, or a Holy Day to pray to your God. I turned to Christian apologetics to find what prayer really is. Some of you will turn from this blog merely due to that source but there isn't anything wrong with the Christian faith in and of itself. Also, in many ways, Christians (good ones) do have prayer down pat. So bear with this here. Matthew J. Slick, founder of the Christian Apologetics and Research Ministry, has a beautiful description for prayer that can be applied to any belief or religious structure. He writes: "Prayer is the practice of the presence of God. It is the place where pride is abandoned, hope is lifted, and supplication is made. Prayer is the place of admitting our need, of adopting humility, and claiming dependence upon God. Prayer is the needful practice of the Christian. Prayer is the exercise of faith and hope. Prayer is the privilege of touching the heart of the Father through the Son of God, Jesus our Lord."* Of course he wrote from a christian perspective, but add a plural to God, change Christian to whatever your faith structure, change Father and Son of God to appropriate diety for you. Listen to the message. Take the time to give of yourself to your God/ess. Speak to them, tell them of your day, your life, your wishes, and dreams. Tell them what you can do for them- make yourself useful in service. 'Prayer is the practice of the presence of God.' Be present with your God/ess. Just pray- send out those ribbons of prayer. They are received and bring beauty to the Gods. In the doing so, because it is all Gifu, prayer brings beauty to you. * http://carm.org/christianity/prayer-ministry/what-prayer I bought some thinbread the other day. There are several brands out there. Thinbread is those round sandwich breads- super thin and help one conserve on those dratted calories and carbs. Have you ever tried them? About the size of an English Muffin, both sides thinner than half of that same muffin. You apply your sandwich fillings and assorted toppings and eat. Only problem is the bread is so thin half the time it falls apart from the moisture of your mayo and you end up eating your fillings off your plate and licking mustard off of your fingers. The bread itself is thin and dry so you have to add extra mayo or drink plenty of fluids to help wash the sandwich down. The cost for a pack of 8 portions is, ounce for ounce, far more than all but the most premium of regular breads. But ahhh, you are doing good for yourself, eating well, right? I’m not so sure. As I was finishing up the second and last pack of thinbread I’ll ever purchase I realized I’m not doing myself nor my pocket book any favors. Then it struck me, thinbread is a metaphor for religion. Basic dry religion, religion for the masses. I’ve been thinking lately on the difference between religion for the masses and the true core of religion. There is a difference. Sure, I can go to church or some blot, I can light a candle for Wodan or make a funny rhyme for Loki. But is this religion? It certainly is something each person has to think of on their own. For me, going through those motions, eating flat dry bread- it isn’t real religion. Someone mentioned to me there is a difference between mysticism and religion. Mysticism is, to put it simply, the pursuit of divine truth through inspiration or direct communion with higher powers. Religion, on the other hand, is defined as a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe. I don’t think there has to be a division and to claim there is forces a dividing line, a split between religion for the masses and then a religion for a select few mystics, priests, godhis. Many out there do, at least unconsciously, recognize this divisor. They go through the motions, drive to church or a blot, say a rote prayer, eat their dry bread and figure they did good for themselves. They got their weekly or monthly dose of grace and now it is time to get back to 'real' life. But everyone, anyone, can take a moment and truly ponder, try to sense the enormity and grace of their God. Anyone, everyone, can read their myths or their Bible or their Koran or whatever they read and not just try to memorize and accept rote verses or stanzas but attempt to consider the meanings and symbolism behind the words. Any true hearted attempt to feel one’s religion with one’s heart and soul will bring a person closer to their God, will add the spice of mysticism to the true religion they belong to. Really, don’t just read about Thor and offer him a beer once in a while; run outside into that lightening storm and feel/delight in his power and presence. A bit risky? Yeah, so is life. Running out for a few moments into a storm is far less risky than driving to the store to buy your thinbread so get over that one and just do it. Besides, the storm is far more fun and exhilarating. Don’t like Thor? Quit the excuses and do whatever needs to be done to feel your God and the religion He/She stands for. You don’t have to wait for an official feast or religious day. Loki said to me once, ‘A date is just a date. You can have a party any time.’ This applies to any God, don’t get stuck in a calendar. So I’m tossing the thinbread idea. If I want to count calories I’ll buy good yummy bread and just make half a sandwich. It is the same size as the thinbread, same bread calories, and it will actually hold a filling. |
SalenaI asked a plant how to feel joy, how to receive and give love. She said with such bliss and light, 'Just feel the sun'. Blogs of NoteSome of the more popular blog posts. Archives
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