I can only read so much of Malidoma P Some's writing at one time. I find a line or concept that niggles at my brain and I have to set the book down and move, do something, let the activity and my thoughts help percolate what I read.

Earlier today I started reading Of Water and the Spirit. I've had the book for ages, just hadn't gotten around to reading it. Within pages I found a line, a question really, that got to me. 

The question is simple, "Why is it that the modern world can't deal with its ancestors and endure its past?" What a blazing query. This touches on more than just the glaring spiritual vacancy Turtle Island endures as its denizens turn their collective backs on their own indigeny and ancestral heritage. This is more than just forgetting or avoiding our ancestors and our ancient rites of veneration.

This is about the West's habit of revisionist history. Not only as a political nation but as individuals. We carry some kind of dysfunctional shame and rather than looking this monster in the face we ignore it, stuffing it under the pillow and allowing the bad dreams and guilt to rise. We choose to pretend each day is a bright new day but that just doesn't work. Each day is built upon the foundation created by the last and so we continue on, ignoring the voices of our heritage, turning our backs on the mistakes of the past, and desperately try to balance on the shifting sands of hypocrisy.

I have no answers here. This is an individual issue. Each of us has an imperative to face our own past, face our own ancestry. We can't ever fully reclaim our indigeny, the world is different now. But as whole individuals and then as sound communities we can initiate healing. 

There is a fair amount of chatter lately among some members of the mainstream heathen community over whether or not Loki should be hailed in group settings. Those who feel He shouldn’t claim it either invokes strife or has deleterious effects to their wyrd. Those who feel he should state He is part of the pantheon, they claim it is their right to honor one of the Ase’s, and their personal toast should have no effect on others. 

It is a persistent impasse. Two camps that can’t see eye to eye. Naturally, I have to side with toasting Loki. I don’t worry about who anyone toasts, toast Beezelbub for all I care. I have enough faith in my own Gods to know someone else’s toast won’t affect me. I also believe in tolerance, most people I know in any kind of marginalized minority believe in this; people have the right to honor and toast who they wish.

Naturally this conversation doesn’t include private gatherings and I don't claim any rights in a person's private home, the conversation centers around an organization’s public gathering. The organization in question welcome’s devotees of Loki’s but won’t allow them to toast him at their own public gathering. Almost by definition this creates a division, a class separation of ingard and utgard. It is a shunning of one of the Gods and a muzzling of those who honor Him. They call it maintaining frith but it is only frithful for those who don't care or don't want Loki toasted.

What many don’t realize is the pain this causes those who love Loki. Just once, I would like a detractor to be honest. I would love to hear them not complain of their own issues or fears surrounding Loki but to say out loud, ‘Yes, your God is utgard to me.’ It would be honest and something I would be better able to respect. 

I would hope though that they would understand the sorrow this brings, the sadness. It isn’t at anyone in general- not even at the most staunch and outspoken of the anti-Loki camp. It is a soft pervasive sorrow that doesn’t recede even when He Himself so gently whispers, “It’s ok. I don’t care.” Reality is, in my gnosis, He doesn’t care. It is the people who care. 

It doesn’t matter that I can toast any of my other Gods at said public event. I ask, how can I be expected to turn my back on a God who has been so kind to me, a God I so dearly love? How can I be asked this?

I was thinking about this one morning during my commute to work and came upon the flower pictured. It was growing right out of the concrete, a thing of beauty persisting and blooming despite having a bed of grit and pain. I realized this flower is me, it is the community of those who love or respect Loki. It is a joy to behold.

You see, someone recently wrote on a list that it is the shunning of Loki that gives Him power. No. It doesn’t. What it does do is bring together those who love Him, those who won’t shun Him. It is that bond of shared sorrow, that pain in being named utgard that brings devotees of Loki together. It is that which forces His to make their own ingard, to form their own community and it is community that gives power and strength.

To those who are upset, to those who feel pained and hurt, look to the joy that is springing forth. Devotees of Loki are slowly but surely connecting and banding together. Friendships are being formed, alliances and groups made. This would never had happened without the intolerance of those who hold fear,  hate, or just uncaring apathy, in their hearts.

We also have to look to the bright moments. In the midst of this debate I received an email from a woman falling in love with the Gods. It is Loki who contacted her, she has now an active devotion to Sigyn and Her sons. The beauty of her words and love lend hope, they make me realize that no matter what some may say, Loki is actively working to put love and faith on the table. He brings people into a spiritual practice, a love for the Gods. Doesn’t matter if they call it heathenry, paganism, or whatever else they choose to call it. These people, like this woman, are hearing the call. They are returning love for love, they are learning about the Gods and slowly expanding their practice. 

This, this is what is important. Not, as Loki calls it, a “petty argument.” Let other’s hold their fear, it isn’t for  a devotee of Loki’s to hold. Those who love Loki will honor Him. We will be persistent in our sorrow and with Loki’s help, transmute that pain into joy.

A woman went to visit family that lived far far off. When she got there, she stopped in at her Opa's. He was sitting on his porch wearing his usual white robes. She looked at him and her heart swelled at the sight of his kindly, life lined face, and brilliant white hair. 

He took her hand and they went for a walk down the meandering path into the brush. After walking in silence for a time he said, 'Child, what do you see?' She looked around for a time and thought, Opa likes thoughtful answers, and finally said, 'Life, I see life.' 

He nodded sagely. 'What else?' She looked closer and noted amidst the burgeoning bustle of life the decaying flowers past their prime, insects eating other insects, a dead bird rotting in the soil under brush. 'Death Opa, I also see death.'

He stopped and looked at her, 'What will you do of this?' She thought of the world she came from, her land with its hustle and bustle and shameful rape/ignorance of Mother Earth. 'I don't know, I don't know what I can do.' 

'This then,' he said, 'is something to think on.'
I’ve been reading on the Pantheacon debate concerning the exclusion of transgendered women from the Dianic ritual held there by Z Budapest. I sincerely want to thank Z Budapest and her followers for clarifying just what woman hood means. I bleed, therefore I am! It’s enlightening for me, virtually an ecstatic experience. So to celebrate my realization of what womanhood means I’ve decided to explore menstruation.

The definition:
Menstruation: the cyclic, physiologic discharge through the vagina of blood and muscusal tissues from the nonpregnant uterus; it is under hormonal control and normally recurs at approximately four-week intervals, except during pregnancy and lactation, throughout the reproductive period (puberty through menopause).

Wow… cool. I bet Rick Santorum likes this definition also. He’s rapidly becoming my bud now that I know what being a woman truly means.

So without further ado I will celebrate my womanly status by exploring menstrual euphemisms. Enjoy!!

All anal sex week,  all over, panty camp, high tide, Aunt Dot, Aunt Flo, Aunt Ruby, barbequed  chicken, bitchy witchy week, the bleedies, blobbing, bloody Mary, blow job week, calendar days, checking into the Red Roof Inn, clean-up on aisle one, clogging Molly, closed for business, code red, communists in the summer house, condensation, cousin Claudia, cousin Tom, the crimson curse, the crimson wave, the curse, the dam has burst, dark week, dropping clots, end of sentence, executive week, falling to the communists, flying the red flag, friend from the Red Sea, game day, the gift, girl time, got the thingies, hammock season, happy fun time, having the painters in, horny, hummer week, hunt for red october, in season, kitty has a nosebleed, lady days, lady in the red dress, leak week, leaky basement, lining the drawers, little enemy, ketchup with my steak, little Red Riding Hood, massacre at the beef curtain, massacre at the Y, misery, Miss Scarlett's come home, monkey has a nosebleed, the monthlies, monthly evacuations, monthly visitor, moon time, Moses parting the Red Sea, mother nature's curse, mother nature's gift, mucking out, mudslide in crotch canyon, my cup of joy is overflowing, my friend came to visit, my red-headed cousin from Virginia, my steak is raw, nosebleed in Australia, the nuisance, oil change, on the blob, on the rag, ordering l'omelette rouge, out of commission, pad straddling, painters are in, panty line, panty painting, pink light, planting cotton, the playground's muddy, playing banjo in Sgt. Zygote's Ragtime Band, quaff cry, riding the cotton pony, riding the crimson tide, riding the red ball special, ragtime, raining down south, raising the Japanese flag, rebooting the ovarian operating system, red beard's toothpaste, red dollar days, raise the red flag, red light district, red moon rising, red ribbon week, red thread, red special, red wings, red witch, riding the cotton bicycle, red rider's revenge, red river blues, the red scare, Red Sox are in town,  saddling old rusty, santa’s bringing presents, the scarlet letter, seeing red, shark bait, sitting on a sock, snatchbox decorated with red roses, soggy box, strings attached,  t-minus 9 months and holding, T.O.M., taking Carrie to the prom, technical difficulties, time to change the filter, tin roof’s rusted, tomato boat has come in, too wet to plow, trolling for vampires, up on blocks, vampire’s bag lunch, visit from Cap’n Bloodsnatch, visit from the Cardinal, war in Virginia, weeping womb, wound of Eve that never heals, and finally, the wounded clam.

I hope you enjoyed my delightful celebration into what I’ve learned makes me a woman.

Euphemisms from: Gregology

I'm not sure how many of you have heard of the DC40 initiative. This is spearheaded by John Benefiel and Cindy Jacobs, both operatives for the New Apostolic Reformation movement (NAR).

The basic plan is to launch a 40 day prayer 'siege' over the U.S. "Releasing the light and sound of eternal worship over the district of Christ." 1  Seige is not my word, the initiative openly admits this plan to be a seige in the hopes of releasing 'the power of blood colored light' over us. 2

So why does this bother me? Why should it bother any of us? Simply put, ignoring factions such as these is implicit approval. If no one complains then groups such as those gain a foothold and policymakers, educators, and regulators are given free rein to behave as they see fit. This nation is Christian based and I have no reason to assume that most legislative people out there and those with the money and power don't approve of 'release(ing) perfect Blood-covered love into the core of your being" 2. I for one, not being Christian, really don't want someone praying for 40 days so my legislatures can 'function on a different playing field' 1. I don't think the DC40 group has 'legal spiritual access' over me, nor do I want them to even think they have that right. 2

We can move beyond just what I personally feel. Let's look at the language- the word seige. This is a specific ploy, a targeted word intended to evoke the concept of a fight, an us against them agenda.  I believe the Nazi's were originally considered an insignificant faction in the beginning also. Similar to the Nazi's, top NAR leaders such as Cindy Jacob's openly advocate burning books and unsanctioned religious effigies. 3 These books and effigies are far ranging and include the Book of Mormon, statues of Catholic Saints, African masks, totem poles, and Hopi Indian dolls.

The language used is poetic- destroying what is deemed 'unholy' is called spiritual housecleaning. Phrases such as this are psychologically and culturally positive. They allow an unquestioning reader to think 'of course, I want to clean house and feel fresh and new again!' Face it folks, most people don't put a lot of thought into political agendas they ascribe to, they won't to DC40 and NAR either. The few who bother to think through the ramifications need to stand up and say no.

I've seen commentary that we should just ignore DC40- 'they' will just go away. NAR openly supports Texas Governor Rick Perry. What could become of movements such as these if they gain enough power? I doubt the marketers are foolish. They have and will continue to seek strong political, legislative support. They will be loud, they will advocate cleansing and the power of the light. The average citizen out there will either go along with the program or will just 'wait' for it to go away. Let's not just wait. We don't have to necessarily raise aggressive banners of battle but we do have to stand our ground, we do have to draw a line for religious tolerance.

So, the cliffhanger here. What's with TI42? Turtle Island 42 is a homegrown initiative that will be seeking to "organize focused learning, support and daily spiritual work in validation of and gratitude for indigenous spirituality and Ancestral traditions that have sustained human life in harmony with nature and Spirit for the majority of human history." The organizers will be posting daily prayers and blogs for 42 days (centered around the DC40 days) in an effort to enhance understanding and spiritual support for indigeny and ancestral traditions. Check it out here: The Turtle Island 42 Initiative.

1 http://www.dc40.net/
2 http://veracitystew.com/2011/09/16/follow-up-dc40-national-prayer-group-doubles-down/
3 http://www.talk2action.org/story/2011/9/14/192516/418