I’ve been reading on the Pantheacon debate concerning the exclusion of transgendered women from the Dianic ritual held there by Z Budapest. I sincerely want to thank Z Budapest and her followers for clarifying just what woman hood means. I bleed, therefore I am! It’s enlightening for me, virtually an ecstatic experience. So to celebrate my realization of what womanhood means I’ve decided to explore menstruation.

The definition:
Menstruation: the cyclic, physiologic discharge through the vagina of blood and muscusal tissues from the nonpregnant uterus; it is under hormonal control and normally recurs at approximately four-week intervals, except during pregnancy and lactation, throughout the reproductive period (puberty through menopause).

Wow… cool. I bet Rick Santorum likes this definition also. He’s rapidly becoming my bud now that I know what being a woman truly means.

So without further ado I will celebrate my womanly status by exploring menstrual euphemisms. Enjoy!!

All anal sex week,  all over, panty camp, high tide, Aunt Dot, Aunt Flo, Aunt Ruby, barbequed  chicken, bitchy witchy week, the bleedies, blobbing, bloody Mary, blow job week, calendar days, checking into the Red Roof Inn, clean-up on aisle one, clogging Molly, closed for business, code red, communists in the summer house, condensation, cousin Claudia, cousin Tom, the crimson curse, the crimson wave, the curse, the dam has burst, dark week, dropping clots, end of sentence, executive week, falling to the communists, flying the red flag, friend from the Red Sea, game day, the gift, girl time, got the thingies, hammock season, happy fun time, having the painters in, horny, hummer week, hunt for red october, in season, kitty has a nosebleed, lady days, lady in the red dress, leak week, leaky basement, lining the drawers, little enemy, ketchup with my steak, little Red Riding Hood, massacre at the beef curtain, massacre at the Y, misery, Miss Scarlett's come home, monkey has a nosebleed, the monthlies, monthly evacuations, monthly visitor, moon time, Moses parting the Red Sea, mother nature's curse, mother nature's gift, mucking out, mudslide in crotch canyon, my cup of joy is overflowing, my friend came to visit, my red-headed cousin from Virginia, my steak is raw, nosebleed in Australia, the nuisance, oil change, on the blob, on the rag, ordering l'omelette rouge, out of commission, pad straddling, painters are in, panty line, panty painting, pink light, planting cotton, the playground's muddy, playing banjo in Sgt. Zygote's Ragtime Band, quaff cry, riding the cotton pony, riding the crimson tide, riding the red ball special, ragtime, raining down south, raising the Japanese flag, rebooting the ovarian operating system, red beard's toothpaste, red dollar days, raise the red flag, red light district, red moon rising, red ribbon week, red thread, red special, red wings, red witch, riding the cotton bicycle, red rider's revenge, red river blues, the red scare, Red Sox are in town,  saddling old rusty, santa’s bringing presents, the scarlet letter, seeing red, shark bait, sitting on a sock, snatchbox decorated with red roses, soggy box, strings attached,  t-minus 9 months and holding, T.O.M., taking Carrie to the prom, technical difficulties, time to change the filter, tin roof’s rusted, tomato boat has come in, too wet to plow, trolling for vampires, up on blocks, vampire’s bag lunch, visit from Cap’n Bloodsnatch, visit from the Cardinal, war in Virginia, weeping womb, wound of Eve that never heals, and finally, the wounded clam.

I hope you enjoyed my delightful celebration into what I’ve learned makes me a woman.

Euphemisms from: Gregology

Erynn Schwellinger
2/22/2012 08:07:42 am

And here I was, thinking that a complex interplay of chemicals and chromosomes made me a woman, as opposed to my body's reproductive system's waste disposal. Does this mean sterile women and post-menopausal women are also not, in fact, women? Should we make a third gender for them, just so they know where they stand? It's only fair.

2/22/2012 08:16:27 am

I actually have the opposite problem. See, some of my friends have endometriosis. It's a condition of excessive bleeding. I've had to unfortunately realize that they are far more woman than I am. Sigh. It's a difficult pill to swallow but I'm sure I'll get over it.

2/22/2012 08:28:13 am

It's alight - I have polycystic overies syndrome. I probably should register myself as half man, since I've been waiting since December for my next bleed. You're more woman than I'll ever be.

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