This afternoon I took the boys into town for dinner. Loki showed up- it was nice. I rarely get out just with the boys and He enjoys watching the children, enjoys family life. So He was there and as it often is when He is around things were going well. The salad was served, He wanted to try one of those peperoncini- yuck!! I really didn’t want to, I dislike them immensely but He looked at me with those big eyes- ‘puuuleeeeeease!’ Fine, if you can get in then sure I told Him. I should say I'm not talking about horsing here- this is a simple sharing of space so to speak. Well He slid in pretty darn easy- I got that momentary double vision and that odd feeling I get where my skin is/isn’t mine. I bit into the peperoncini, felt it’s fluids explode in my mouth, felt His appreciation and joy at its taste. Then my consciousness roared up- ugh! and of course He found that quite funny and I hear His rolling laughter. That’s fine, I knew I wouldn’t like it but to share a taste, one bite, it is the least I can do.

So the boys are eating their salads, relishing the leaves and the breadsticks. We are talking, Loki is leaning forward on the table, watching them quietly. At a break in the conversation He- but I should back up here. Gods talk in several different ways. Sometimes it is intuition, just a whisper of a thought and you know. Other times a physical happening such as when my phone kept opening and I knew Odin wanted to speak to me. Other times it is as though one hears Them as you hear another person with your ears. But then there are times, at least for me, when it is as though the words They say are etched into the center of my brain. It is deep, meant to be heard and understood, no room for error. And that was how Loki talked at this moment, the break in conversation and He’s watching the children and He says casually but deeply, ‘I love them.’ I register but Jacob starts to talk to me and we talk for a while. Then of course the main course arrives and Loki wants to try that also and He is sliding in and out and just generally enjoying being there.

But, as we are nearing the end of the meal what He said surfaced to the fore front of my thoughts again. It is powerful. I know I am not the first person to have their God admit to loving their children, but it is still an amazing, humbling moment. I start to tear, go into the bathroom to get hold of myself. Loki of course follows though now He is my ‘comfort food’ Loki- dark hair, a bit shorter than His other appearance, how He looks when He is soothing me. He is just there, letting me work this through. He leans in and I can feel the brush of His hair on my forehead and cheek. 

But I’m set now and pay the bill and off we go. He rides along, wants to watch a movie tonight. X-Men, doesn’t care if it is number one or two. At one point in the car He says, ‘You knew that already’ and I guess I did but I had never really thought of it, of Him actually loving my children. I knew He liked them, He likes all children. But this is a different level. I check the movies at home, only number two can be found. Ikes- never really liked that movie but I had given Him his choice, so be it. I turn around, He is right behind me, looking at me thoughtfully. 'You know I will always watch out for them, just as I watch out for you.' I nod, He has saved my life before, He does watch and it is BIG to know He will watch out for your children. He is Nana with supernatural fangs, He is Santa Claus with a gun, the Kindergarten Cop, He is the God so many fear and He will watch out for my children. I don't know what to say, just nod is all I can do, just plug in His movie.

So I’m still processing this. Loki isn’t usually thought of as a God who likes children or family. If He is thought of in combination with children it is usually more that He spawns monsters. I know this to be different. Hela most definitely holds an important place in the Northern Cosmos and I do believe Fenris and Jorgumand to be essential to the balance Odin so often speaks of to me. 

But Loki has more children than this. Two more fairly well known but, like an embarrassment to a family, are often shuffled under a rug. The two from His more peaceful, home like aspect which just flat out isn’t as fun or tantalizing to talk or write of so it is ignored, forgotten by most. These oh so important children are Narvi and Vali, the two used as revenge pawns by a lynch mob of Aesir. Whether you love the Aesir or not, that piece of history can't be ignored.

The children He lost, it still hurts Him deeply. To fully know my God loves my children when He has lost His own, it is astounding. I am honored to be able to share my children with him and give him some of the joy and peace He is always looking for, that joy and peace so often denied. 

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